What I didn’t expect

I don’t think I’m ready to write about my birth story yet (although it went well) and I’m nervous to write too much about how things are going lest I jinx it. But it’s incredible how much easier and more enjoyable having a baby is the second time around. As I use various techniques to keep a sleepy baby focused on nursing or recall the stages of newborn poop (there are lots of colors involved), I’m in awe about how much I learned the first time, and how brave new parents are, caring for a very tiny being while learning it as they go.

It was reassuring this time to know what I’d need to make life easier, from packing a sleep mask in the hospital bag to asking my mom to spend a night with me in the hospital. (I’m so glad I asked my mom to do this; not only did I feel amazing after a night of maximum sleep, but also it was so wonderful sharing that experience with my mom.)

Bee at hospital

What I didn’t expect was how different Beatrice would seem to me now that we have the baby. When she walked into my hospital room she broke my heart with what a big girl she was, her face a mixture of pride and bravery. She snuggled with me in the bed, giving me reassuring hugs, and giving the baby a kiss and calling her “my baby.” When the visit was done she dutifully left with her grandparents, calling “bye-bye Mama” and waving over her shoulder. I almost want her to cling to me and not be so darn grown up about the whole thing.

Yesterday we took Beatrice for a big girl haircut to match the girl she’s grown into. Adam took the baby for a quick run through Trader Joe’s while Bee put her hand into mine and walked down the sidewalk to the kid’s haircut place. Getting her hair cut was such a nice mama and daughter thing to do, doubly special since it was just the two of us.
I know those of you with older kids are probably laughing at my sentimentality over a not-quite-two-year-old, but you won’t find this mama wishing away these early stages anytime soon. I’ll take my toddler whining and up-all-night newborn and enjoy them while I can, knowing that the time will pass all too soon.
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  1. Lauren Kavan says:

    Congratulations Breanne! I stumbled across your blog while I was on maternity leave and I’m so glad I did. As a new mama myself, I’m really enjoying reading about your and Jen’s adventures in motherhood, especially the excitement of your new baby. It’s been fun to follow you on the last leg of you journey (although I suppose it’s really just the beginning!). It’s been incredibly reassuring and inspiring as I’ve been stumbling through my first months of parenthood. Congrats again on your beautiful new daughter! Perhaps she’ll get to meet my baby girl someday!

  2. Wow, thanks Lauren! And congratulations on your baby girl! That is so exciting and I hope things are going well. Thanks so much for your kind words — I really appreciate it! It’s always nice to know someone is reading (and hopefully not rolling their eyes). We’ll have to catch up when we’re back from our leaves!

  3. I’m not rolling my eyes 🙂

    Congrats! Nothing like a baby to make a toddler seem like a giant! I totally remember that feeling. And yes, the hospital visit is so nice as well from big sis!