Conquering my fear of being home with two kids

I told myself before Blythe was born that although we’d continue to send Beatrice to daycare, I’d keep Beatrice home sometimes with me.

Six weeks into being a mother of two, and I finally worked up the courage to do it.

Me and Blythe at 2 weeks

Me and Blythe at two weeks, figuring out our routine together.

I know tons of moms who come home from the hospital with Baby #2, #3, or #4 and get up the next morning and take care of all the kids that day and every weekday. But I had been finding the task of keeping two people (me and Blythe) fed, clothed, and well rested enough (I still need a nap to make up for the nights), and the thought of adding a high energy third kept getting pushed off to the following week.

I’m regularly by myself with the new girls for a couple of hours and it usually goes fine, but it’s a relief when Adam comes home. When caring for two it’s hard not to give Blythe the short shift, to just meet her needs good enough. I had justified my delay by focusing on taking care of myself (fourth trimester and all of that) and that it’s good to have this time to bond with and love up Blythe before I go back to work. But I also knew that I needed to face my fear — with every passing week I kept feeling more and more guilty.

So last Friday I kept Beatrice home, and as usual, things went much better than expected. Bee was on her best behavior, (mostly) listening to directions. I realized that we need to work more with Bee on how to be a big sister and on what babies need (space, quiet) and what they don’t (to sit in your lap, to eat raisins).

Library

The high energy third, a.k.a. Beatrice

The day felt like conducting an orchestra, keeping multiple parts going and anticipating the next measure so that one section flowed smoothly into another. I was so into my groove as Supermom that when Adam stopped home over lunch I was reluctant to share my baton.

That evening we took the girls for a quick visit to the Children’s Museum. After we tore a soaking (and real truth: kicking and writhing on the floor) Beatrice away from the Water Works exhibit and got back into the car, Beatrice said, “I had a fun day.”

Back at you, kiddo. I look forward to more days like this in the coming weeks.

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