Welcome to Clickery, a weekly feature where we share things we like because maybe you’ll like them too.
Wow, Jen’s got the serious stuff this week, and I have Fourth of July snacks.
When I read too many design sites and want to style my house like a set, I just need to go to this site for a dose of reality (and a good laugh).
Like this one by Lisa Belkin, published in the Huffington Post in March: “The Retro Wife Opts Out: What Has Changed, And What Still Needs To“.
Belkin wrote an article in the New York Times Magazine 10 years ago – 10! – about the The Opt-Out Revolution, and she has some updates.
“Looking back over 10 years and a lot of reporting, I have come to see my mistake when writing “The Opt-Out Revolution.” I confused being pulled toward home with being pushed away from work. . . . I did not fully understand, that what looked like a choice was not really what these women wanted most. . . . In other words, if they’d had a third path — they might well have taken it.”
Paulette Light writes in The Atlantic about opting out and on-ramping. In “Why 43% of Women With Children Leave Their Jobs, and How to Get Them Back,” she proposes a new structure for businesses and parents.
“I am not arguing that I am owed anything for past performance, only that I could potentially be a valuable player if work could be structured differently . . . If you want high-achieving mothers back in the workforce, don’t give us an office and a work week filled with facetime, give us something to get done and tell us when you need it by.”
And oh, ouch. This one’s tough: Why I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom by Grown and Flown on Huffington Post. (One editorial comment: I was a headline writer for years. I know how to make a few words pack a punch, but this one isn’t the whole truth. She’s just reflecting, 20 years later, about what she gained and what she missed. But it got your attention right?)
“I stayed home with my kids because I wanted to be with them. I had a job that allowed me very little time with them on weekdays and I felt our time was short. I did not stay home because I believed they needed me or that the nanny I had hired could not do a great job.
Now, on the downslope of parenting, I have misgivings about my decision to stay home. While I don’t know any parent who regrets time spent with their kids, especially kids who have moved on to their own lives — and I include myself among them — in hindsight, my decision seems flawed.”